How We Should Be Talking to Our Daughters About Beauty

Most girls and young women are naturally curious about beauty and how they can achieve their vision of beauty. What normally begins as a simple awareness of and curiosity about beauty products often eventually transforms into the realization that possession of these products is not enough to guarantee that one will achieve the look they desire. It is knowing both what products to use as well as how to use them that can allow one to achieve their beauty goals. It is also important to recognize that achieving beauty does not require that one layer on loads of expensive products, but rather can be accomplished quite naturally. How does a girl or young woman learn these things? Ideally, first and foremost from her mother.

Talking to Your Daughter About Beauty

It is not unusual for a girl or young woman to want to experiment with beauty products. Nor is it unusual for a girl or young woman to be highly sensitive to the feedback they receive when they do experiment with beauty products. Learning how to properly take care of their skin, apply makeup and style their hair can help a girl or young woman improve their self-confidence and self-esteem, and prevent enormous amounts of frustration. And herein lies the secret for how to correctly talk to your daughter about beauty: talk to her. This is vastly different than only giving her feedback after she seeks to figure out beauty for herself, and it is far easier for both of you. When you talk to her, consider adhering to the following key points:

• Begin with important basics. It is vitally important for anyone who is learning about beauty to begin with learning about how to maintain healthy skin and hair. Talk with your daughter about how to properly cleanse her skin and hair, moisturizing and addressing issues as necessary. This may even lead to a fun mother and daughter spa day as you take them to purchase the appropriate skin care products for their skin type.
• Let her interest guide you. You may discover that your daughter prefers a natural look and isn’t interested in applying cosmetics, which is totally fine. On the flip side, you may discover that your daughter prefers a bold, glamorous look, which is also totally fine. Knowing what she is interested in can help to ensure that she doesn’t feel pressed into discussing a topic she is uncomfortable with.
• Indulge her curiosity. Your daughter will learn largely through observation and mimicry, so it’s valuable to indulge her curiosity. You can teach her important techniques by allowing her to watch and ask questions.
• Make it fun for both of you. Set aside time to play “beauty parlor” or “dress-up” with your daughter, and use it as a fun opportunity to talk and teach. This is another example of where a mom and daughter spa day can come in handy–you can enjoy beauty services together and encourage open communication on the subject.
• Teach her that less is more. When allowed to experiment on her own, your daughter may very well determine that achieving the look she desires (and perhaps eliminating undesirable features) is accomplished by covering her face with mountains of makeup. If you teach her about makeup application, and that less is more, she will learn from the beginning to accent her beautiful natural features rather than seeking to cover up what she considers to be imperfections.
• Turn to help as needed. It’s possible your daughter will need or want help with something that you don’t feel comfortable with. Perhaps you prefer the natural, sans makeup look, while your daughter is interested in bold eye makeup. It’s okay to turn to others for help–such as a professional aesthetician or even a close friend–for help with beauty techniques and to support your daughter.

Beauty can be a wonderful subject for mothers and daughters to bond over, which is something you should definitely take advantage of. This is yet another wonderful reason to schedule a spa day for mother and daughter–you can relax and bond while receiving beauty services together.

Love,

Gen